Hot Tub Forum
General => General info Somewhat hot tub related => Topic started by: soak-king on February 13, 2008, 06:05:50 pm
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These are some entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a two line rhyme with the most romantic line first but a least romantic line second.
My darling lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming,
That is why I wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,
But I only slept with you because I was pissed.
I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
but don't take that paper bag off of your face.
I love your smile, your face, your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe - GO TO HELL!
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts Vodka, one part lime.
ANY OTHERS? ;D ;D
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The height and depth of our love shall prevail,
Matched only by the width of your tail.
(http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b206/EastTexasSpa/3_ugly_people.jpg)
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I love you with all my heart,
especially those amazing feet.
Until my marriage falls apart,
let's keep this relationship discrete.
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Before I met you, I was lost and alone
Now I get all of my sex off the phone.
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Gazing up at the night sky,
while we're relaxing in our hot tub,
I can't help but let out a sigh,
as I would rather be giving your sister a foot rub.
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Two soul mates for life, that's what we are
Now you're tied up and gagged in the trunk of my car.
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I've never seen a face so lovely as yours
It ain't me talking, it's this 12 pack of Coors.
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You say Terminator is your man,
although he never gets you a present,
I say good luck getting him out of the can,
because I just gave him a diahrea solvent.
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He maybe wise,
he maybe funny,
but he only eats things fried,
and looks like Bugs Bunny.
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You say Terminator is your man,
although he never gets you a present,
I say good luck getting him out of the can,
because I just gave him a diahrea solvent.
He maybe wise,
he maybe funny,
but he only eats things fried,
and looks like Bugs Bunny.
(http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b206/EastTexasSpa/chadfail.jpg)
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I see your both in this thread right now (I can see) Be nice, remember I'm watching. ;)
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No I'm not!
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(http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r165/tileman_photos/21666_large.jpg)
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Jim,
Our love is a tender, - a sweet flowing ballad.
Now please go toss my salad.
Happy Valentines Day,
Sandy
You are my lover, my soulmate, my savior
I will love you forever,
Or at least, until I get out for good behavior
hugs and Kisses, Your cellmate,
Bubba,
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Your are beautiful and special, unlike any other
When we make love, I think of my mother
XXXOOO
Jim
You’re a genius, way smarter than others!
Have you figured it out yet? I’m sleeping with your brother,
Ha Ha
Sandy
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You say that you'll love me 'til the day that you die...
What a great day to give that theory a try.
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From the top of the Grand Canyon I shall profess all my love,
then from behind I'll give you a shove.
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I love you so much, with all my heart, you are truely beatuful.
If you ever cheat on me
I’ll hunt you down like a dog
and cut your throat and leave you for dead in the back of a garbage strewn ally,
like the filthy, dirthy dieased ridded whoare that you are.
Were these supposed to rhyme?
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Of all the women in my life, you are the best
(Of course I say the same thing to all of the rest)
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Your beauty is special, like a soft delicate flower.
but do you really think you're worth $50 an hour?
I love you for ever,and as best as I can.
funny, though, you never liked me,
when I was a man.
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I love your eyes, your toes, your cute little dimples
Your warts, your moles, the pus in your pimples.
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He maybe wise,
he maybe funny,
but he only eats things fried,
and looks like Bugs Bunny.
He's a great guy, a heart full of fun.
But don't push him to far, he's the one with the gun. ::)
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We met at the top of the Falls of Niagara
Now you stay atop the sales rep for Viagra.
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Term, youre a wonderufl guy, so full of life
Don't hold this against me, but I want your wife
What is that? A knife?
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The Texas Grim Reaper will soon burst through your door
You'll reap what you sow...you filthy manwhore.
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When the texas reaper comes looking - I hope it's later than sooner,
just tell him, I'm in Colorado, and my name changed to Arjuna.
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Roses are red,
Violets are pluckable.
I gave you my heart
Because you are so.... uh, nice.
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When the texas reaper comes looking - I hope it's later than sooner,
just tell him, I'm in Colorado, and my name changed to Arjuna.
Your mocking of the hot tub rebrander,
is possibly grounds for pure slander,
expect a cease & desist letter,
or worse yet the wrath of "The sweater"!
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His wife's got a moustache, and sucks like a Hoover
Is it still slander
If we refer to him as Gruver?
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OK you buggers, this is a real..heartfelt Valentine message that I sent my poor hubby who is suffering in sunny Puerto Rico this Valentine's Day. No kiddin
You’re the love of my life,
You’re everything dear,
It’s Valentine’s Day,
And I wish you were here. :)
After 25 years,
Our love is still strong,
The next time you go,
Won’t you take me along? :-?
Our weather’s been nasty,
We had quite a storm,
I miss your soft hugs,
That keep me so warm! :)
Yeah, I’ve got the woodstove,
Some split wood to stack,
And splintered fingers,
Now a sore back. :-/
But the firewood supply,
It’s getting quite low,
Hey Dude, I’m not Paul Bunyan,
You know! >:(
And the hot tub is lonely,
I wish you were here.
We could share a long soak,
Romantic talk and a beer. :-*
And speaking of hot tub,
The water is old.
I really hate dumping it,
When it’s this cold. >:(
I know this is business,
Or so you say,
But you’re in San Juan
It’s 85 there today! 8-)
So on Valentine’s
Yes you’re my man,
But I’m freezing my tail off,
And you’re getting TAN!! :P
A nice dinner tonight
Would have been really great, :)
But pizza or take-out,
Are likely my fate! >:( >:( >:(
I’m Ok with this,
It’s not such a big deal, :-/
No flowers, no card,
No restaurant meal. :'(
Oh that leather,
I got you for Valentine’s Day,
I listed this morning..
It’s now on Ebay! ::)
And in case I’m not here,
When you finally arrive,
Have a soak in the tub,
The temp’s 55! ;D ;D
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It's sad that you're away, so distant and so far
Please don't get upset, but I spending tonight with Drewstar!
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Couldn't do that Drew,
I value YOUR life, ;)
How bout I'm spending the evening
with Drew and his wife?
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A night with me and the wife?
I must remain calm. play it cool and not act too goofy.
Think!, where did I put the roofie?
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I loved the poem Boni, too bad 'bout your weather
I never knew you two got kinky with leather. :o
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Sweetheart, You make my life complete,
I just wish you'd put your teeth back in before you eat.
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Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm schizophrenic,
and so am I.
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Today is the day of Valentine,
It's a shame you look like a porkupine
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My dear friend Term,
There's lots to learn,
Leather is always in fashion,
I guess it is my passion. ;)
excuse me for switching our sonnets to limericks but:
I should call our friend Spa Doc,
For a cover that would really rock,
Might not be all weather,
But I'd love black leather... :-*
and you know that this all is a crock ;D
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oh come on...you could have come up with a better rhyme than "Crock". ::)
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No because it is a crock...I bought my hubby a leather coat for Valentine's day...so all that Term is suggesting is a crock! ;)
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I used to have some leather pants
They made me look real cool
But sweatin' in the Texas heat
Made rust form on my tool.
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Since I haven't mastered Photoshop, we will all just have to imagine Term in Tom Jone's leather pants.....
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(http://i144.photobucket.com/albums/r165/tileman_photos/untitled.jpg)
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Nice try Chad, but I remember Tom's leathers much much tighter than those...Guess Term could consider this style, it shouldn't cause the rust problems he experienced in the past ;D
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On Valentines Day I send you this poem
I noticed you went in the Hot Tub and made some foam
I never realized that you were starting to roam
I just changed the locks, now get out of my home!
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We've been together for 20-odd years
Through laughter, joy, sorrow and tears
Now when I see you and hear your "yes dears"
It just makes me want to have a few beers
I dream that your car has had trouble with it's gears
and off of a really tall mountain it veers.
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My darling dear, you are so sweet,
now please allow me to clean the vomit from my feet.