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Girlyman Returns!-Big Spoiler!!!!!

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East_TX_Spa:
Took Big Ball of Evil to see Superman Returns last night.

What a horrible waste of time and money.

Schtuperman is a monosyllabic, pouty, androgynous, teary-eyed stalker.
Lois Lane is a deceitful, immoral, immortal trollop who cannot be killed.
Lois Lane's child looks and acts like a phlegmatic pekingese strung out on Valium.
Lex Luthor's criminal genius is about one notch below Stymie from the Little Rascals and he's as intimidating as Papa Smurf.
Jimmy Olsen is Howdy Doody reincarnated minus Mr. Doody's charm.
Perry White reminds me of JMcD.

This is not the way the Man of Steel is supposed to be.  This is Hollyweird's Keanu Reevesesque version and it succulates like no other super hero movie I've ever seen.

Schizophrenic scene jumping, dangling dialogue with ZERO punch or payoff, pointless shots of shoes, irritating and implausible storylines, etc., etc.  Even the opening credits were hemmorhoidal and made me nauseous, but they were the most exciting part of the whole damn thing.

When Supermetrosexualman died, I actually clapped.  I wanted him to die in the first scene and then it would have been worth the $16 movie tickets and the other $10 I spent on a bucket of popcorn and an Icee.

I actually got up and left the movie before the end.  That's only happened before when I saw Ace Ventura II: When Nature Calls and Megaforce (with the guy who looked like Barry Gibb and his futuristic army of Solid Gold Disco Dancers).

I imagine Superfreak survived for the sequel.  It pains me to see the direction this movie takes one of my favorite characters.  The director (Brian Singer) should have contracted JA to write the script as he is a better writer of science fiction fantasy than whoever wrote this turdtwisting mess.

Do yourselves a favor and stay home sticking your hand in the garbage disposal over and over and you will have a better time.

Terminator  

Bonibelle:
Shudda waited for the Pirates!   ;)

tmknies1:
Wow, what a review  ;)

East_TX_Spa:
This is the type of snappy dialogue regurgitated throughout the entire movie:

Kitty (Lex Luthor's Moll): "Are billions of people really going to die?"

8 second pause...1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...

Lex Luthor: "Yes."

End of scene.

Now, imagine Samuel L. Jackson playing Lex Luthor:

Kitty:  "Are billions of people really going to die?"

Lexuel L. Luthor:  "You bet yore big shiney hiney they're gonna die and I hope they burn in hell, mammyplucker!"

Terminator

wmccall:
"When Supermetrosexualman died, I actually clapped"


Well, I didn't see that coming :P

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