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Joke of the day

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Spatech_tuo:
THE SUPER BOWL TICKET


A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. After he sits down, a young man comes by and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

"No," the man says, "the seat is empty."

"This is incredible," said the young man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world, and not use it?"

The man says, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been to together since we got married in 1987."

The young man replies "Oh...I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?".

The man shakes his head. "No they're all at the funeral."

socal:
nice 1 Spatech

JcDenton:
Feb 2nd addition

Donald Rumsfeld gave the president his daily briefing. He concluded by saying: "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"Oh no!" the president exclaimed. "That's terrible!"

His staff was stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sat, his head in his hands.

Finally, the president looked up and asked, "Exactly how many is a brazillion?"

drewstar:
I was golfing the other day and had a new partner named Ralph. He seemed like a nice enough guy,and  played a decent enough game.

It was funny though, we were on the 8th green,  when on the road, that runs next to this particulair fairway, a long funeral possesion of about 10 cars  passed by.  I was really touched and taken aback when Ralph noticed the funeral procession, stopped his putt, took off his hat and bowed in head in silence until the procession drove out of sight.

"Wow Ralph. I'm touched. You didn't strike me at first as a pious individual"  I said.  Geniunally touched by Ralphs respect for the deceased.

"Awww, it was the least I could do." Ralph replied. "After all, she was my wife ."

;D

stuart:
A man and wife on the verge of divorce are setting in front of a marriage counselor where she is in tears as the counselor says to the man “I think your wife needs attention and passion”

The man says “What do you mean? I am passionate and I do give her attention”

Finally out of frustration the counselor walks over to the woman, takes her in his arms and give her a long passionate kiss. She sets down out of  breath and with a look of bliss on her face as the counselor turns to the man and says “See that!? That’s what she needs…Can you give her that?”

The man replies, “I can have her here Monday through Thursday but I golf on Friday…”

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